That has to be one of my most favorite lines from anything. Leonard Cohen is a god. Well, I don't believe in gods, but if I did, he would be one.
It's so true though. Sometimes you can't feel, so you try to touch, whoever or whatever you can.
Last week was one of my first bad weeks in a long time. I still have bad days sometimes. I think I will always have bad days, no matter what happens to me. But that was the first time it when on for days. I was miserable without a reason, on the verge of tears without anything happening to make me cry. I was just sad nonstop. I tried to shut myself off from Rob at all times, but I did talk to Chrissy, because if anyone out there can understand, and not try to judge me or make me feel worse about myself, it's Chrissy. Jill has been there for me in the past, and I will always be grateful for that. There are times that I don't know if I would be where I am, or here at all, if I didn't have Jill. But Chrissy seems to have gone through a lot of the same stuff as me. So much so that it's kind of freaky sometimes. But it's nice when people know where you're coming from, when you don't have to explain everything to death. When they can just look at you and know what's wrong.
I'm feeling better this week, even though work is going to suck a lot this week and a half, but I will survive. I somehow always do.
Tonight we celebrated Chrissy's quitting of ADT which is awesome and I'm so proud of her for it! She finally got out! We had talked about going to the Cheesecake Cafe on Monday after work, but for some reason Rob didn't feel like going tonight, which, I'll be honest, did upset me a bit. She is my BEST friend here, and she's been with me no matter what. This was an important day. I don't really understand. But Chrissy and T and Blake picked me up in T's new car (I'm so happy for her!) and we went and despite a car accident (not the new car thankfully) we all had a great time. It was awesome. I had slushy drinks. That was fun. Even though I was the only person not part of a couple/family, we celebrated, had some great food and a great time. Congrats Chrissy!!!
Monday, March 17, 2008
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Sick Days
So the front desk girl gave me bronchitis. That sure sucked. I nearly died during inventory, just from the counting. Ok, I was also running around, on my feet all day, doing heavy lifting and carrying, and all sorts of fun stuff like that. I didn't get home until after 8 so I was exhausted from that. Then I waited until midnight for Rob to get here from curling and then I pretty much just got sick. I didn't do anything all weekend and didn't go to work on Monday.
Chrissy, T, and Blake came and took me to the clinic. Blake informed me that having his finger slammed in the door was much worse then my cough, which I guess is true. It turned out I had the coughing disease and spent the next two days napping and coughing at home. I went back to work and was informed that some people thought I had been on job interviews which is always fun. But I finished out the week.
I got up early on Saturday to go do blood work after fasting all night. After searching for the stupid lab, I found it and there was a HUGE crowd, even people waiting outside. So I said forget that and ended up hanging out with Chrissy and her Mom at the mall, which was cool. Rob picked me up and then we got the stuff needed for Game Night.
Game Night. Fun! Nacho Dip, Cheese cake. Board Games. Random Playlist. Let's just say, wonderful. That is until my landlord banged on my door and told us to be quiet because the baby was trying to sleep. We weren't even being that loud. And it was the first time I've ever had more then one person over to my apartment, and I've been here for almost 8 months. I think they've been pretty fucking lucky with their renter. I'm pretty sure they're going to get a divorce, they're always stomping around upstairs and yelling and screaming at each other in the common staircase which isn't uncomfortable for me at all...I'm very sorry that you guys are going through a rough time, but don't treat your good renter like shit. I've only ever asked them for help with the mice that I had when I first moved in. That's it. My bathroom sink has been broken for months now, but I don't want to bother them with it because I feel bad. I feel like making a big fucking fuss about it now, just to be a bitch.
I tried not to let it bother me, and I did have a really fun night. I love hanging out with Rob, Chrissy and T, they're my favorite people ever, I can't stop laughing when we're all together.
When they left, Rob was dozing on the couch. I got ready for bed, and then dragged him into the bedroom. I talked to him for a while and then he soon fell asleep. I sat in bed for a while, just staring at the walls and then got up and came out here. That just put me in one of my moods. I started to feel down, and then that turned into a random feeling of sadness, so I figured if I wrote it out, it would make me feel better, and it has. Writing has such a healing effect for me.
Two more things to mention quickly. 1: Thursday night, Rob, Chrissy T and I all went to see the Drag Kings, and it was pretty awesome. Rob I think was bored and/or uncomfortable, so next time I think I will leave him home. I love him, but there are some things that maybe we can't share. 2: I wrote a poem back in September when Chrissy and I were having major issues with Karma. In it I described Karma as a bitch goddess and Chrissy really liked it. Well, turns out she wants to get her tattoo artist to draw it out for her, and then get it tattooed on her. Depending on what he comes up with, maybe I'll get it too. I haven't decided yet. But it means a lot to me that she liked the poem so much, she wants to make it a part of her. I love you Chrissy!
Chrissy, T, and Blake came and took me to the clinic. Blake informed me that having his finger slammed in the door was much worse then my cough, which I guess is true. It turned out I had the coughing disease and spent the next two days napping and coughing at home. I went back to work and was informed that some people thought I had been on job interviews which is always fun. But I finished out the week.
I got up early on Saturday to go do blood work after fasting all night. After searching for the stupid lab, I found it and there was a HUGE crowd, even people waiting outside. So I said forget that and ended up hanging out with Chrissy and her Mom at the mall, which was cool. Rob picked me up and then we got the stuff needed for Game Night.
Game Night. Fun! Nacho Dip, Cheese cake. Board Games. Random Playlist. Let's just say, wonderful. That is until my landlord banged on my door and told us to be quiet because the baby was trying to sleep. We weren't even being that loud. And it was the first time I've ever had more then one person over to my apartment, and I've been here for almost 8 months. I think they've been pretty fucking lucky with their renter. I'm pretty sure they're going to get a divorce, they're always stomping around upstairs and yelling and screaming at each other in the common staircase which isn't uncomfortable for me at all...I'm very sorry that you guys are going through a rough time, but don't treat your good renter like shit. I've only ever asked them for help with the mice that I had when I first moved in. That's it. My bathroom sink has been broken for months now, but I don't want to bother them with it because I feel bad. I feel like making a big fucking fuss about it now, just to be a bitch.
I tried not to let it bother me, and I did have a really fun night. I love hanging out with Rob, Chrissy and T, they're my favorite people ever, I can't stop laughing when we're all together.
When they left, Rob was dozing on the couch. I got ready for bed, and then dragged him into the bedroom. I talked to him for a while and then he soon fell asleep. I sat in bed for a while, just staring at the walls and then got up and came out here. That just put me in one of my moods. I started to feel down, and then that turned into a random feeling of sadness, so I figured if I wrote it out, it would make me feel better, and it has. Writing has such a healing effect for me.
Two more things to mention quickly. 1: Thursday night, Rob, Chrissy T and I all went to see the Drag Kings, and it was pretty awesome. Rob I think was bored and/or uncomfortable, so next time I think I will leave him home. I love him, but there are some things that maybe we can't share. 2: I wrote a poem back in September when Chrissy and I were having major issues with Karma. In it I described Karma as a bitch goddess and Chrissy really liked it. Well, turns out she wants to get her tattoo artist to draw it out for her, and then get it tattooed on her. Depending on what he comes up with, maybe I'll get it too. I haven't decided yet. But it means a lot to me that she liked the poem so much, she wants to make it a part of her. I love you Chrissy!
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