Wedding Stress

Who doesn't love a wedding? Especially a summer wedding? I've been waiting for this moment for so long, I can hardly believe it's happening!

I wonder if anyone freaked out from reading that? No, I'm not getting married but my dear friend Stacia (who I have never met in person) is finally getting married to her boy John. I'm so happy for them, it's been a long time coming, and now I get to take my first trip to the States and go be in a Kentucky wedding. I'm going to melt. That's a fact. Good times!

I'm slightly stressed out though. The wedding is this August. That means I have to start a travel fund, buy gifts, get my dress and try to lose some of this weight so I don't look like a ball rolling down the aisle. I'm insanely exicted for them though, despite the stress. I'm so excited that I will get to meet her. We've been talking since I was 16, back in the day of ICQ. Ah, ICQ, good times! She's amazing, and even though we've never met eye to eye, she knows me so amazingly well it's scary sometimes.

It seems like everyone is getting married lately. I guess once you reach a certain age, that's what starts to happen. It's still really weird though.

So I'm just sort of randomly bouncing off the walls for her wedding. Yay! Wedding!

wow...counting sucks ass

Today is my first day of inventory ever. It sucks. A lot. I sort of kind of hate it like the plague and wanted to stab myself with my pen half way through so I could leave. And I'm not done. I'll be doing it for the rest of the day at least, probably tomorrow too...maybe even the next day...At least on Friday I'll be entering. Which probably also sucks. I don't know for sure, but I'm guessing. Right now I'm on lunch, and half asleep. The Pepsi I got from the nearly broken machine isn't helping keep me awake. I should have brought some of the fudge that I bought in Banff with Rob on the weekend...the sugar in that would give me a short lived high, that's for sure.

Can I take a moment to discuss how much people in general annoy me? There have been signs up for about two weeks now, talking all about inventory, and how it will start on Monday, and if your name is on the list then report to these people on Monday morning for your stations, etc. Today when I first started counting, I don't know how many people came in and tried to take stuff. Um, asshole, what do you think the four of us with clipboards are doing? Get the fuck out of here, learn to read, and leave me alone. I just know now that we're all on lunch, they're going in there and taking stuff. That wouldn't surprise me at all.

I think I'm still a little tired and cranky from the weekend. Still totally worth it. Have I mentioned how pretty my pearls are? I so wanted to wear them today, but I thought it would look weird, and I'm already the only girl in a huge building full of men, so I don't need to stand out anymore. I'll probably wear them on the weekend, and maybe next week at work a couple of times. I love them. And Rob too, becasue he is the giver of said pearls.

It's about time to go keep counting...someone please save me! Lacey doesn't LIKE to count things :(

And now that the weekend is over...

Friday did not work out like I thought it would. As you know from my last rant, it was a shitty day at work. I ended up staying late, and I got home around 6:30 instead of 5:10 like I normally do. So that means that I missed going to the comedy club with Kendra and Bree which sucks, I really, really wanted to go...I've never been before and I just think it would be a lot of fun, obviously. So instead of sitting in a club and laughing my ass off, I did laundry and talked to Chekov. Very exciting.

The good thing about this weekend was that Rob decided to wisk me away for my Valentine's/early half anniversary (I know, we're gross), so on Saturday morning, off we went to Banff. It was an amazing weekend, we had a lot of fun, and did all sort of "I love you" stuff, so probably a good idea that we were alone.

I've always wanted a pair of black fresh water pearls. I found some in a store for only $55 and he bought them for me as an early gift. They are so pretty I can't stop looking at them. We went to museums and shops and spent a lot of time walking around. I relaize how out of shape I am because my legs are killing me right now.

We spent the night in a pretty decent hotel. The room was HUGE and there was a king size bed which I enjoyed running and jumping/bouncing on, among other things.

I got really tired today though, due to all the stupid loud and drunk skiers in the hotel with us. Rob, as usual, slept through everything. so between 3 and 5am I basically enjoyed rolling around in the huge bed. I think the mountain air may have had something to do with that too.

So even though I am sore and tired and a bit cranky today, it was totally worth it to spend that time with Rob.

work....ugh....work

So this whole week at work has been crazy. One girl was out for half of the week because of the stomach flu, and the rest of the week because of getting her wisdom teeth removed (I love her today though because she came in at lunch time) and the receptionist has been out sick all week. She was in for about half an hour yesterday before she was sent home.

So all week I've been up front off and on. It's really hard for me to get my own work done, and it makes me mad being up there. It's not my job. Usually another of the girls would split the day with me, but she's not here today either. Argh!

Robin is my one saving grace. I've been working with her since Christmas or so, in AP. I really like to staple things together, so this is good for me. She always tells me how much she loves having me working with her, and how much we're getting done. Today she told me she would go up front after lunch for me, so I could get some of my own work done. Thank god for something. She's wonderful, and she knows how frustrated I was getting.

Because it's not just the up front stuff. I have to do my own work, and the other girl's work too. And answer the phone will up front. Somehow I have to try to run cheques for the US and Canada, and check and mail out about 200 work orders and invoices (not my job) plus inventory stuff that I have to do today after 4. I almost cired today. I get so stressed out and worked up. I enjoyed Chrissy's comment of "Wow who killed their last slave so you could have the job? " Thank you Chrissy! You make me smile when I want to pull my hair out.

Anyway, I just felt the need to complain. I feel better now that I've typed all of this stuff out. And now it's on to the rest of my day...joy!

Lacey Sad

Boris is dead. I found him this afternoon after work, curled up in the chips. He finally came out of the tube. I wish I had been here. I know that he was only a hamster, and his brain is the size of a dime, but it makes me sad that he died alone. I guess he wasn't alone, Chekov was here, but I doubt he was very comforting, especially since he was climbing over him to get to the water bottle. At least he didn't try to eat him.

I'm SO sad. How is that even possible? He was a hamster I've only had for a few days, not even a week. I just feel like I shouldn't have taken him. If I hadn't, he'd still be alive and fat and happy. I just hope that Chekov will be ok.

I'm retarded for being so sad over a hamster.

oops

One thing I forgot to mention, which I think is important. I bought Rob a gift for his birthday in October that I thought might be gay. It was a canvis painting with a saying about music on it. He did like it, and I know he did now because when he saw there was blood on it, he FREAKED out. He really didn't want to throw it away, and was really glad when he was able to clean it. One good thing I guess.

He loves me. It makes me all warm inside.

Weekend whining

So all in all, it was a pretty stressful weekend. I realized that yesterday I didn't mention any of the crap that happened on Saturday, due to my fears over the likely death of my adopted hamster baby Boris. I fully expect to see him stiff and dead in the tube that he has not come out of when I get home today. But moving on to other things....

First off, nothing horrible but just annoying. There's a "friend" living in Edmonton. We went to jr high school together for a few years. I haven't seen or spoken to her in probably 10 years. She found me on face book and started wondering if she could come up for a visit. I said sure, maybe sometime. Now, I'm not a people person. I don't mind hanging out but I HATE having people I don't really know staying with me. It kind of freaks me out. Plus, the only place for anyone to stay other then in bed with me, is on the couch that's on the floor. Probably not the nicest way to spend a night.

So a week ago or so, she had msn'ed me and said she was thinking of coming up on the 22nd, would I be around? I said probably, she said good. I ASSUMED she had somewhere else to stay, cause if you were planning on staying with someone, wouldn't you give a bit more information? That's right, she was staying with me, and mentioned it on Friday. I was more then a bit ticked off and I let it show. We got into it a bit, so now I don't know if she's coming or not. I'm not going to make any attempt to contact her, that's for sure.

On to bigger and worst things.

Friday Rob came over to my place right after work. Even though we are basically living in sin, there are times that he actually uses his apartment for more than a storage space. Normally he goes home on Friday's after work, chills out for a bit, and then goes and curls until midnight or so, when he comes to my house and we (usually) sleep. This weekend though, curling was earlier, so I braced myself and went with him. I discovered that I can watch about an hour the game before I want to have a nap. I really enjoy watching that first hour, but then I just get too antsy or something. I don't know. Anyway, that was fine. We drove down town to get the key's he left at his place after the game, and then went home.

The next morning it seemed to be a nice day, so he suggested going to the dinosaur musuem, which I really wanted to go to. I said fine, we rushed around, got ready (after I talked to Jill's Mom for a bit, I miss Charlotte) and proceeded to go to his place so he could get his camera. I sat in the car, waiting. Then he came back out of the ally and motioned for me to get out of the car. I did, and as I walked up close to him he said "We won't be going to the museum today." I was kind of ticked off and asked why. That's when he pointed to his broken bedroom window.

The screen was mangled, the glass was smashed. I was so shocked. I know I live in a big city, but sometimes I forget that break ins and stuff don't just happen on tv, but around the city every day. Small town innocence I guess. I followed him into his apartment (kind of freaked out...what if they were still there? Unlikely at 11:30 on a Saturday morning, but still). The rest of the apartment was fine. His bedroom was not.

I've never been so freaked out in my life. His bedroom walls and bed were covered in blood. All I could think of was how glad I was my baby wasn't there when it happened. It was horrible. He was freaked out, understandably, and I just didn't know what to do. All I kept thinking was how glad I was that nothing was taken. Yes, there was blood and glass everywhere, but his laptop and camera were still there. He called Vince, who was on vacation to let him know and to get his other room mate's phone number. Then the room mate came home and said he didn't hear or notice anything. so it happened before he got home at 11:30 the night before. The police and land lord were called and we waited.

The police were really quick and nice. We gave our id's and wrote witness statements. The nearest the police could figure was that someone might have been trying to hide and kicked in the window. Maybe someone was high. Maybe someone was fighting and got pushed though. All I know is that it was a really crappy way to spend a Saturday.

Rob is so great. He kept apologizing for wrecking my Saturday, as if it was his fault. I love him.

We got out of there around 4, which is pretty good time wise I think. We threw away his sheets, and washed his comforters, I don't think there was anything but dirt from shoes on those. We washed the blood from his stuff, using about a million pieces of paper towel. Then we tried to do happier things, like get stuff for my hamster babies and pizza and blizzards. He had mentioned getting drunk that night (he probably could have used it) but we were supposed to get up early and go to a hockey game the next day.

Of course we didn't go. I wasn't feeling good and sitting in a cold rink probably wasn't the best of ideas. And he didn't want to go without me. I think he's slightly attached. Sunday was spent feeling blah, both physically and mentally, and crying at random times over Boris, who I kind of wish would just die so he wouldn't suffer anymore. Chekov continues to be crazy.

He stayed over again. He's spent the last 10 nights or so at my place. I have to admit, I really do love it. When he's over, it feels right, and not annoying or smothering like my ex. In the end, he was over constnatly, mostly because he was a loser and didn't have his own apartment, just a room, so he probably liked being at my place a lot more, and i hated it. i didn't feel like i could do my own stuff. With Rob over, I can read, or talk to my Mom on the phone, or go on the computer...it's just great.

Yesterday Chrissy, Blake and T came over for a little while. Chrissy is awesome and I love her for giving a special someone a heart attack yesterday. I love you so much! Best burn ever! Blake had hurt his finger but was still excited to see Chekov. And T had a nap on my couch. That proves that even if it is on the floor, it's still comfy. I miss spending time with them and must make a Cheesecake date soon.

Well, that was my crazy weekend for anyone who wants to read about it. Not that many people actually know about this site. Oh well. Sorry it was so long. Had a lot of stress I needed to try to type out.

Typical

So I think one of my hamsters is going to die. I know that hamsters don't typically last very long, but I've only had them for a week and I really don't think it's fair. Boris has hardly moved all day, and just lays in the tube. Chekov is doing great, he's running around having a great time with life. It just makes me so sad. But yet I find it typical to my life. It's funny like that.

I'm just in such a mood these last few days. I don't know if it's becasue I'm sick or what. But I get really happy and then really pissed off, sometimes within minutes or even seconds. If I don't know how to deal with my moods, how is Rob supposed to? I love him to death. And I want to be with him. But sometimes I wonder if it would just be easier on everyone if I was a hermit living on my own somewhere. With cats. But not hamsters. I don't seem to do so well with them. Now I really regret taking Boris. I should have left him in his cage in the petstore. I don't want him to die.

Work Day Haze

I'm at work. Probably not the best place to be updating this blog, but I'm on my lunch, so that has to count for something. Even I wouldn't so bold as to do this during regular work time. Well, maybe at 4:30.

I wish I wasn't at work. I'm still sick (Thank you Chirssy for giving me the COLD FROM HELL) and want nothing more then to be curled up in bed, listening to my hamster babies squeak in the living room. I have to admit, I'm still a little unsure of them. I love them, they're cute and everything, but they are so tiny. I'm not used to having such tiny living things in my house that I'm not running away from. Being in a cage helps I guess. I'm more scared of the biting then anything else. I know that they're tiny, but Boris gave me a huge chomp the first night. I know he was freaked out and stressed and all, but damn it Boris, give me a break!

Yesterday was Love Day. I was really excited and stuff, first Love Day with Rob and all, but by the end of the night, I entered into yet another one of my famous moods out of no where. I don't understand it. I can be fine for so long, and then, out of no where, bam! I'm sad. No reason for the sadness, but my brain just thinks "oh, I'll be sad now, that's a good idea! that won't make people think you're manic or anything." It's very annoying. All I want to do is be "normal", well, as normal as a person can be.

And it makes me feel so bad for Rob. I mean, he ALWAYS wants to make me feel better, and sometimes he can't. Sometimes there are things that he can't fix. It sucks, but there are some things that I need to fix on my own. I'm not so good at that. Usually takes me years. But in the end, I usually get it fixed, as best I can.

I'm looking forward to sleeping after I have some supper tonight. I'll sleep (if I can) until Rob comes over after curling tonight at midnight or so. He's been over every night this week, and it's been really nice. We really are pretty much living in sin. He spends more time at my apartment then he does at his own. Is this practice?

First Post

Wow. I never actually thought that I would have a blog. Just didn't seem like the type of thing that I would do, which is funny when you consider that writing is one of the few things in life that I actually enjoy.

I've been living in Calgary now for two years. It's still hard for me to believe that I ever left Neil's Harbour. Sometimes it feels like I havn't, and this is all just a dream. Silly, I know, but I can't help it.

I've done a lot more out here then I know I ever would have done in Neil's Harbour. I've had jobs that pay more then 7 bucks an hour, a plus. I've dated losers (something I could have done at home) and used and been used by people. I've met amazing people who've become amazing friends and I've met horrible people who I wish I didn't know. And I met someone who I know I'll be spending the rest of my life with.

I've been through a lot of stuff in my life. Most of it caused by myself, letting things get inside of me, where they fester, where they stregthen, where they grow until they take over my life. I'm trying not to let that happen ever again. I can't let that happen. Ever again. My life is too important to me now.

People you will hear me talk about a lot: Rob, my boyfriend, the person who loves me so much more then I deserve. Chriss and T, two of the nicest people that you've ever met in your life, and who have been good to me. Chekov and Boris, my new Russian Dwarf Hamsters, who hate eachother. Good times!

This probably won't be updated all the time. Just when I feel like talking, and not talking with my words, because sometimes my mouth doesn't pick the right words.