It's been an awful week. I guess it's been a bit more then a week now. Who knows anymore? It's become so hard to keep track of what time it is, or even what day it is anymore. As hard as it is, I think it's important for me to write about this stuff. I need to get it off of my chest.
Tuesday morning I received a phone call. My Grampy had a stroke the night before. We were weakly hopeful. I would be called when news was offered. I few hours later I received a call from my father. It didn't look like Grampy would make the night. You need to come home. I cried. I screamed. I rocked back and forth. I don't know if I can actually describe to anyone just how much I loved my Grampy. He means so much to me. He's always been there. Always. And he's always shown his love, clearly, to me, unlike many others I grew up with.
I made it home that night, 9:30. My little brother let me into the locked doors of the hospital. My Grampy, that man full of life, fight and fun, was lying on the bed. An oxygen mask on his face. His chest rising slightly. His eyes tightly closed. I broke down. I refused to sit next to him. I also refused to leave that room that night. I stayed, sure he would be gone soon. As the night grew on, I was able to sit next to him. Hold his hand. Whisper in his ear how much I loved him.
He was still alive the next morning. And the next night. My Aunt Bonnie and older brother were coming that night. We said that he was waiting for them. The night before he seemed to be in a lot of pain, and was given medication which seemed to calm him. The twitching and kicking stopped. Unless I placed a cold cloth on his forehead, or unless someone told him "Bonnie and John Mitchell are almost here." Oh, how he kicked.
He survived the night. And the next day. His whiskers were growing. It was awful. My Grampy never had a beard. He was always clean shaven and well dressed, he always smelled lightly of Old Spice. That night, Thursday, was awful. His breathing stopped at least 15 times. Probably more. I almost screamed at him to just let go, stop fighting. We were going to be ok without him. It would be hard, but we would be able to go on, eventually. But he would regain his breath. The next morning, as I had every other morning, I left to go home for my shower, but I didn't think I could come back. I had been there every day and every night, but that night was awful. Awful. I didn't know if I had it in me to give anymore. I stayed home for a few hours, tried to sleep, played with the baby, cried on Clayton...
It was John Mitchell who convinced me to go back. The nurses, the wonderful, wonderful nurses, shaved him. He was clean cut now. And apparently his breathing was better, and his color too. I went back. My Nanny Barb jumped up and hugged me, told me she was so glad I came back. I kept up my vigil. I owed it to him. I had been away for so long. I owed it to him to be there for him.
Now were were waiting for my cousin Jeremy to fly home, as well as one of Grampy's sisters. Friday they would be coming, her in the afternoon, him in the evening. We all knew he was waiting for Jeremy.
That night was hard. My grandmother said goodbye to Grampy for the second time in a week. Myself and my aunt, uncles, and mother sat in the TV room of the hospital and watched a Rankin's Family special. We laughed, some of us danced (my aunt is crazy)...We may have had cabin fever. Jeremy got there, as did Rob, and Clayton came too. The night was over, Mom, Bonnie and I were left alone with him again. My mother wrote his obituary, sure it would be over.
The next morning, he was the same. His breathing labored, but no more so then the night before. I wanted to scream. He was so stubborn. He was going to go on his own time, and that was it. My grandmother called that morning, as she always did. She told us "Maybe he needs to be alone to go. Why don't you three come on home for a bit. Have a shower, have some breakfast. Rest." We didn't want to go, but she did, so we started to tidy the room, and I called my Uncle Greg, and told him the news. I hung up the phone, turned to tell Mom and Bonnie not to forget their purses. When I got no answer, I turned back to the bed, and they were sitting beside him, mom holding up her hand. I stopped. I looked. He wasn't breathing. Mom yelled "Go get the nurses," I ran, in my sock feet, to the nurses station, tried to say "Wilena" but it didn't quite get out. The nurses followed. When I got back, he had taken another breath. Wilena took his pulse and told us it was time. Mom made me call my uncle Greg back to tell him to bring my grandmother. My hand was shaking so hard I could barely dial. When I hung up the phone, he took his final breath.
And it was finally over.
After all that waiting, it was finished. My Mother and Aunt cried as if their hearts were breaking. I sat there and shook, crying my own tears. We had asked for this so much during the last few days and when it happened, it was the last thing we wanted.
Then the phone calls, the family, the screaming of my grandmother, the sitting...It's all a haze. It didn't even feel real. Life was somewhat normal as we waiting for the funeral.
The funeral. I read. I'm still amazed I got through it. People tell me I did well. I don't know. I'm not a religious person, in fact I'm surprised that I didn't burst into flames, but I took comfort in the words that I spoke. I felt like I was doing something. Before and after the funeral, my grandmother told me many times how proud my Grampy would be of me. I think he would probably have told me to stop being so foolish, but who knows?
The graveside was the worst. I will never forget my grandmother screaming "no no no," or my mother "trying" to take my carnation from me (every other grandchild threw theirs into the grave with him, I felt bad about this, but as Mom reminded me, Grampy hated flowers, so would have been glad I kept mine). Rob and I left soon afterwards, came back from Halifax.
And my frustration continues. I don't know why. It just seems like I'm not happy. And I don't know what to do about it. I know a lot of it has to do with Grampy, but I was unhappy before hand too. And Rob is so touchy lately. I make suggestions and he snaps at me. I hide in the bedroom, he in the living room, and we live our lives separately. I need a job. That way I can have a real reason to hide from him. I shouldn't have to hide from him, or want to. I don't know what to do.
I just want to get this whole stupid holiday behind me.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Monday, December 1, 2008
Starting all over again....
Well here I am, in Halifax. No job, no money, but an apartment and a boy. My boy.
We've been here a bit over a month now, and the job hunt isn't going very well, for either one of us. I've applied to countless jobs and haven't gotten a bite yet. That's gotta make a girl feel good about herself. I'm going to start applying for shitty retail jobs now, anything to get some money coming in. Most days I try not to think about it. Other days it's all I can do. I'm glad that I came, but it makes me wonder...I mean, in Calgary Rob and I both had good jobs, good friends...and now...ugh, with Christmas coming, it's very stressful.
But I am, over all, very happy to be here. I mean, the ocean! My family and old friends...though things are stressful on that front too. My grandfather is recovering really well from his TWO heart attacks but his pancreas isn't doing well...they think that he might have pancreatic cancer. Like five percent of people with pancreatic cancer make it for five years...I'm trying not to think about it. That seems to work most days, though I did cry myself quietly to sleep one night. I don't want to stress Rob out over things that he can't fix.
Speaking about Rob being stressed, he's been very stressed off and on, due to the whole money thing, job thing, moving thing. Sometimes he would snap. Other times he would go and be by himself. I don't deal well with my own stress, let alone someone elses.
This is it so far. Hopefully I will have better news to post soon.
We've been here a bit over a month now, and the job hunt isn't going very well, for either one of us. I've applied to countless jobs and haven't gotten a bite yet. That's gotta make a girl feel good about herself. I'm going to start applying for shitty retail jobs now, anything to get some money coming in. Most days I try not to think about it. Other days it's all I can do. I'm glad that I came, but it makes me wonder...I mean, in Calgary Rob and I both had good jobs, good friends...and now...ugh, with Christmas coming, it's very stressful.
But I am, over all, very happy to be here. I mean, the ocean! My family and old friends...though things are stressful on that front too. My grandfather is recovering really well from his TWO heart attacks but his pancreas isn't doing well...they think that he might have pancreatic cancer. Like five percent of people with pancreatic cancer make it for five years...I'm trying not to think about it. That seems to work most days, though I did cry myself quietly to sleep one night. I don't want to stress Rob out over things that he can't fix.
Speaking about Rob being stressed, he's been very stressed off and on, due to the whole money thing, job thing, moving thing. Sometimes he would snap. Other times he would go and be by himself. I don't deal well with my own stress, let alone someone elses.
This is it so far. Hopefully I will have better news to post soon.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Hosptial Music
Where to begin? It’s been a really long time since I’ve written in this. Almost a month now. Such is my curse. I love to write, but often stop for no reason whatsoever. I make up reasons. Too busy, too tired, having nothing to say. But there are always things to say, if you really try.
Where to begin? Work is going great in some respects, not so great in others. The new receptionist is wonderful. Judy is a gift from the non-existent gods. She always wants to work. And she does my filing, which Wendy was so intent on me doing. What the fuck ever. Judy is always working, and if she has nothing to do, she will ask everyone if they have anything that needs to be done. That’s just amazing to me. Like night and day. And she drives me home a lot. That’s pretty awesome. There are other issues, as they always are. I just keep waiting for things to be resolved, and keep on saying to myself “If I was the boss…”
Last Saturday Rob and I helped Chrissy and T move into their new condo. It’s a really cute little place, which a huge back deck (which I got burnt on that day. Ah, fun times). I can’t wait to spend some non working time there. The day actually wasn’t too bad. We got there late, so we didn’t help as much as we could have, but I would like to think that we helped make a difference. I gave them Idiot Boy’s tiny TV that he left at Shelly’s that I was using at my apartment now until Chrissy gave me an older bigger one of hers. So now we’re just trading TV’s it seems. Good times! So anyway, I hope they get some use out of Idiot Boy’s TV, since I don’t want it. I was going to give it to goodwill, but Chrissy and T’s seems like a good place.
Sunday we drove to Vulcan to do the geeky thing. And it was pretty geeky. I bought a Borg bear and a Captain bear which I have named 13 of 69 (thank you Chrissy!) and Captain Ricky. They have brought me much enjoyment. I’m wishing I had bought the communicator that I saw. But I didn’t. What can you do? I really, really wish that Jill was there. I would have done so many stupid, geeky, retarded things if Jill was with me. But what can you do? She’s being all married and adult like in Ontario, which is all good. Just makes me sad sometimes. I keep wishing and hoping that someday, maybe, Jill and I will live in the same province again. I guess I should probably stop holding my breath on that one. But stranger things have happened I suppose.
We’ve been doing some trip planning. I’m getting excited to go to the States and to finally see Stacia face to face…it’s very exciting! Plus I get to dress up (and be to token fat girl in the wedding, but that’s ok) and see all sorts of new places I’ve never seen before. I’m hoping that it will all go well.
I also got new glasses. I got a nice pair of prescription sunglasses and then just a regular pair. They are blue. Everyone keeps telling me how much they like them, so it looks like they’re not stupid after all. I was a little worried that I wouldn’t be able to pull them off, but apparently I can. Good stuff!
I guess I should get back to work now. I don’t want to, but I should probably earn my pay check. Boo! The important thing is I updated this for T!
I also feel I must tell everyone I am obsessed with Matt Good’s Hospital Music. When I bought the CD last summer I wasn’t so thrilled. Then I started reading more about the CD and making of it (depression, suicide attempt, divorce, etc) and started listening to it harder. Now I love it. There are some songs I’m not thrilled with, but that’s normal for a Matt Good CD in my experience. There is one in particular that I just love. I don’t know what it is about it, but I love it. It’s called “The Boy Come Home” The first verse in particular gets me, so for your viewing pleasure, here it is:
“While I go over it in my headWalk through those doors and stand there staringAnd there ain't one soul that's in there deadMy hand stays out, I keep my headAnd walking out I see you sitting in that Ford of your old man'sScratching your arms like your skin is crawlingBut done up the best you can”
It may not seem very nice or great…but seriously, listen to the song a couple of times and give it a chance…
Where to begin? Work is going great in some respects, not so great in others. The new receptionist is wonderful. Judy is a gift from the non-existent gods. She always wants to work. And she does my filing, which Wendy was so intent on me doing. What the fuck ever. Judy is always working, and if she has nothing to do, she will ask everyone if they have anything that needs to be done. That’s just amazing to me. Like night and day. And she drives me home a lot. That’s pretty awesome. There are other issues, as they always are. I just keep waiting for things to be resolved, and keep on saying to myself “If I was the boss…”
Last Saturday Rob and I helped Chrissy and T move into their new condo. It’s a really cute little place, which a huge back deck (which I got burnt on that day. Ah, fun times). I can’t wait to spend some non working time there. The day actually wasn’t too bad. We got there late, so we didn’t help as much as we could have, but I would like to think that we helped make a difference. I gave them Idiot Boy’s tiny TV that he left at Shelly’s that I was using at my apartment now until Chrissy gave me an older bigger one of hers. So now we’re just trading TV’s it seems. Good times! So anyway, I hope they get some use out of Idiot Boy’s TV, since I don’t want it. I was going to give it to goodwill, but Chrissy and T’s seems like a good place.
Sunday we drove to Vulcan to do the geeky thing. And it was pretty geeky. I bought a Borg bear and a Captain bear which I have named 13 of 69 (thank you Chrissy!) and Captain Ricky. They have brought me much enjoyment. I’m wishing I had bought the communicator that I saw. But I didn’t. What can you do? I really, really wish that Jill was there. I would have done so many stupid, geeky, retarded things if Jill was with me. But what can you do? She’s being all married and adult like in Ontario, which is all good. Just makes me sad sometimes. I keep wishing and hoping that someday, maybe, Jill and I will live in the same province again. I guess I should probably stop holding my breath on that one. But stranger things have happened I suppose.
We’ve been doing some trip planning. I’m getting excited to go to the States and to finally see Stacia face to face…it’s very exciting! Plus I get to dress up (and be to token fat girl in the wedding, but that’s ok) and see all sorts of new places I’ve never seen before. I’m hoping that it will all go well.
I also got new glasses. I got a nice pair of prescription sunglasses and then just a regular pair. They are blue. Everyone keeps telling me how much they like them, so it looks like they’re not stupid after all. I was a little worried that I wouldn’t be able to pull them off, but apparently I can. Good stuff!
I guess I should get back to work now. I don’t want to, but I should probably earn my pay check. Boo! The important thing is I updated this for T!
I also feel I must tell everyone I am obsessed with Matt Good’s Hospital Music. When I bought the CD last summer I wasn’t so thrilled. Then I started reading more about the CD and making of it (depression, suicide attempt, divorce, etc) and started listening to it harder. Now I love it. There are some songs I’m not thrilled with, but that’s normal for a Matt Good CD in my experience. There is one in particular that I just love. I don’t know what it is about it, but I love it. It’s called “The Boy Come Home” The first verse in particular gets me, so for your viewing pleasure, here it is:
“While I go over it in my headWalk through those doors and stand there staringAnd there ain't one soul that's in there deadMy hand stays out, I keep my headAnd walking out I see you sitting in that Ford of your old man'sScratching your arms like your skin is crawlingBut done up the best you can”
It may not seem very nice or great…but seriously, listen to the song a couple of times and give it a chance…
Monday, June 23, 2008
Happy Birthday To Me!
I am officially a quarter of a century right now. How scary is that? It's weird. But I guess it had to happen some day.
My pre birthday weekend was pretty great, with some kind of shitty stuff thrown in here for good measure, cause, let's face it, it's me after all. Saturday at the Virgin Fest, was insanely hot. No shade. Lots of sun. Some water...I got massive sunburns on odd parts of my body, like my hands, feet, and insides of my arms, plus more normal spots too. Fun times. Then I'm pretty sure I got heat exhaustion. That sort of sucked. We left early that night, but didn't really care about the later acts, so that was fine. When I got home, I had a cold shower and got a horrible pounding headache and thought for a brief minute there, my head might actually explode. You will be happy to know that it did not, but it tried really hard to.
Yesterday was better. Not as hot, less sun and more cool breezes. And awesome music. Lots of smoking, lots of pot, lots of pushing, but a pretty damn good day. Until we got to Rob's car and found out that it was broken into. A wonderful typical ending to one of our days. His cd's and ipod were stolen, and some dirty old crackhead touched all of his stuff, but otherwise, I think he's ok stuff wise. His driver's side backseat window however, is taped up right now. Poor Rob. He did get me an awesome birthday card though (haven't gotten the rest of my birthday present yet, I'm spoiled!) that he made me open. I'm pretty sure he thinks I need to go to AA, but I'm good with that :)
My pre birthday weekend was pretty great, with some kind of shitty stuff thrown in here for good measure, cause, let's face it, it's me after all. Saturday at the Virgin Fest, was insanely hot. No shade. Lots of sun. Some water...I got massive sunburns on odd parts of my body, like my hands, feet, and insides of my arms, plus more normal spots too. Fun times. Then I'm pretty sure I got heat exhaustion. That sort of sucked. We left early that night, but didn't really care about the later acts, so that was fine. When I got home, I had a cold shower and got a horrible pounding headache and thought for a brief minute there, my head might actually explode. You will be happy to know that it did not, but it tried really hard to.
Yesterday was better. Not as hot, less sun and more cool breezes. And awesome music. Lots of smoking, lots of pot, lots of pushing, but a pretty damn good day. Until we got to Rob's car and found out that it was broken into. A wonderful typical ending to one of our days. His cd's and ipod were stolen, and some dirty old crackhead touched all of his stuff, but otherwise, I think he's ok stuff wise. His driver's side backseat window however, is taped up right now. Poor Rob. He did get me an awesome birthday card though (haven't gotten the rest of my birthday present yet, I'm spoiled!) that he made me open. I'm pretty sure he thinks I need to go to AA, but I'm good with that :)
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Quiet
I'm home alone tonight. Just Chekov and I. My landlords are fighting again. Yelling at their little girl. Do they think that I can't hear them? Or do they even care?
I'm tired tonight. And not feeling good. My stomach is sick and my head is aching. I'm nervous about tomorrow. And I'm alone. Oh, did I already say that? Rob won't be over until Friday, most likely. The apartment seems really quiet and empty. I think I'm ready to start living with Rob for good. I wonder what we will do though. He's talking about staying in Calgary longer then I was expecting, but not a year longer I don't think. I don't know what I will do when my lease is up here. I sure as hell don't want to live with three boys. Ugh, I don't even want to think about it.
Tomorrow is my appointment. I'm getting nervous. Really nervous. That's probably part of my sick feelings tonight. Chrissy and T will be taking me tomorrow and waiting for me to be finished. I'm still freaked out though. I'm just really scared that there's going to be something really wrong with me. Everyone keeps telling me that everything will be fine, and it probably will...but at the same time...anything could happen. It's just adding to my stress ulcer.
My Mom wants my uncle Jamie to stop driving. She also wants him to get his eyes checked. I wish I was there. I want to spend time with my uncle while he's still able to do things. I don't want to get there only to push him around in a wheel chair.
I have to drink so much water tomorrow. Here's hoping I can keep it all in until my test is done.
I'm tired tonight. And not feeling good. My stomach is sick and my head is aching. I'm nervous about tomorrow. And I'm alone. Oh, did I already say that? Rob won't be over until Friday, most likely. The apartment seems really quiet and empty. I think I'm ready to start living with Rob for good. I wonder what we will do though. He's talking about staying in Calgary longer then I was expecting, but not a year longer I don't think. I don't know what I will do when my lease is up here. I sure as hell don't want to live with three boys. Ugh, I don't even want to think about it.
Tomorrow is my appointment. I'm getting nervous. Really nervous. That's probably part of my sick feelings tonight. Chrissy and T will be taking me tomorrow and waiting for me to be finished. I'm still freaked out though. I'm just really scared that there's going to be something really wrong with me. Everyone keeps telling me that everything will be fine, and it probably will...but at the same time...anything could happen. It's just adding to my stress ulcer.
My Mom wants my uncle Jamie to stop driving. She also wants him to get his eyes checked. I wish I was there. I want to spend time with my uncle while he's still able to do things. I don't want to get there only to push him around in a wheel chair.
I have to drink so much water tomorrow. Here's hoping I can keep it all in until my test is done.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Updated!
It's been a bit since I've written anything here. I just don't seem to go on my computer much at home, Rob has been over a lot lately. Cause we are basically living in sin. Good times.
My ultrasound is this week. Hopefully they will figure out what's wrong with me. I have to say I wasn't impressed when my friend Jenny told me that they did an internal one on her. At least she warned me before hand. That would have been a big shock. An unpleasant one. Ugh. Anyway, it's in the afternoon and Rob is working, so Chrissy and T will be taking me. I was really freaking out about it at first, but I'm better now. I told them that if they had other plans, I would be ok to go on my own, but they love me and said they would still go with me. So good times on Thursday. Fingers crossed that they find out what's wrong with me. And if they do, fingers crossed even harder that it's nothing really bad.
I've been walking to work lately, and it's been raining. Like everyday. And if it just happens to be cloudy and not raining, the ground is still soaked. So my poor feet have been wet for like two weeks this week. This morning Rob drove me in. I was so happy. I was here really early, but that's ok. The banked time is good.
We had a retarded fight on Friday night. I'm not going to go into it, because it's just too retarded. But it centered around a Kenny vs Spenny episode. I think it's a case of we don't really fight at all, just once every few months. Yeah, we have little cranky moments, but no fights. So I think we just keep all of the annoyances inside and then let them out once every few months and feel better. We made up that night so it was all good.
Work is retarded. They still haven't hired a girl for upfront and I have to answer the phones everyday at 4 when everyone else leaves, and I answer them when they ring during the day and the girl who's up front doesn't answer. But apparently I "haven't done phones" for two weeks now. Whatever. Fuck, I hate how childish it can be here, people don't come right up and say something to you. They go running to mommy or daddy or start talking behind your backs. Babies.
My ultrasound is this week. Hopefully they will figure out what's wrong with me. I have to say I wasn't impressed when my friend Jenny told me that they did an internal one on her. At least she warned me before hand. That would have been a big shock. An unpleasant one. Ugh. Anyway, it's in the afternoon and Rob is working, so Chrissy and T will be taking me. I was really freaking out about it at first, but I'm better now. I told them that if they had other plans, I would be ok to go on my own, but they love me and said they would still go with me. So good times on Thursday. Fingers crossed that they find out what's wrong with me. And if they do, fingers crossed even harder that it's nothing really bad.
I've been walking to work lately, and it's been raining. Like everyday. And if it just happens to be cloudy and not raining, the ground is still soaked. So my poor feet have been wet for like two weeks this week. This morning Rob drove me in. I was so happy. I was here really early, but that's ok. The banked time is good.
We had a retarded fight on Friday night. I'm not going to go into it, because it's just too retarded. But it centered around a Kenny vs Spenny episode. I think it's a case of we don't really fight at all, just once every few months. Yeah, we have little cranky moments, but no fights. So I think we just keep all of the annoyances inside and then let them out once every few months and feel better. We made up that night so it was all good.
Work is retarded. They still haven't hired a girl for upfront and I have to answer the phones everyday at 4 when everyone else leaves, and I answer them when they ring during the day and the girl who's up front doesn't answer. But apparently I "haven't done phones" for two weeks now. Whatever. Fuck, I hate how childish it can be here, people don't come right up and say something to you. They go running to mommy or daddy or start talking behind your backs. Babies.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Exhausted
Why am I so tired? All the time? Is there an actual reason? Or am I just lazy?
Friday was month end at work. Everyone was freaking out. For no particular reason. I don't understand why people do that, leave everything for the last day of the month, when you know that stuff needs to be finished on that day. Other then messing up my check run and having to do things for other people, the day went pretty well. I finished at 5 and was able to leave. I walked home again. A little over half way it started to rain a bit. I tried to call Rob, but my phone wasn't working right. I kept missing his calls and I kept getting his voice mail. When I finally did get a hold of him it was thundering and pouring down rain. Lucky for me I had my umbrella, and was able to be mostly dry by the time he picked me up, about five minutes from my house. We went for Coco Brooks pizza and had a somewhat damp quiet night in. He fell asleep by 10 on the couch. We're old.
Saturday we didn't do anything until about 8. We left and did a few errands, then met Chrissy and T for Indiana Jones. I'm glad that I saw it with them. It was pretty good, lame plot, but the plot isn't the important things in those movies, it's the people. So I'm happy.
I had a hard time sleeping last night. I was jittery or something. I moved around a lot. Rob woke me up in the middle of the night saying something about duct tape. He's cool like that. I woke up early, couldn't sleep anymore, so I got up. I just don't feel like myself lately. Today, after laying on the bed for a while, Rob took me to the grocery store then he went home. I just didn't feel like hanging out. Nothing about Rob, just me. Me and the crazy girl that I am.
Friday was month end at work. Everyone was freaking out. For no particular reason. I don't understand why people do that, leave everything for the last day of the month, when you know that stuff needs to be finished on that day. Other then messing up my check run and having to do things for other people, the day went pretty well. I finished at 5 and was able to leave. I walked home again. A little over half way it started to rain a bit. I tried to call Rob, but my phone wasn't working right. I kept missing his calls and I kept getting his voice mail. When I finally did get a hold of him it was thundering and pouring down rain. Lucky for me I had my umbrella, and was able to be mostly dry by the time he picked me up, about five minutes from my house. We went for Coco Brooks pizza and had a somewhat damp quiet night in. He fell asleep by 10 on the couch. We're old.
Saturday we didn't do anything until about 8. We left and did a few errands, then met Chrissy and T for Indiana Jones. I'm glad that I saw it with them. It was pretty good, lame plot, but the plot isn't the important things in those movies, it's the people. So I'm happy.
I had a hard time sleeping last night. I was jittery or something. I moved around a lot. Rob woke me up in the middle of the night saying something about duct tape. He's cool like that. I woke up early, couldn't sleep anymore, so I got up. I just don't feel like myself lately. Today, after laying on the bed for a while, Rob took me to the grocery store then he went home. I just didn't feel like hanging out. Nothing about Rob, just me. Me and the crazy girl that I am.
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