Another weekend down the drain

They go by way too fast. It hardly seems fair. The week at work drags on to the point where I want to poke myself in the eye with my pen so I can go home and maybe go on worker's comp for a while, yet the weekends speed by as if they didn't actually exist. Not fair at all. :(

This weekend turned out quite nice, even if I didn't think it would get as warm as it did (note: it is now currently snowing in the NE. God damn Calgary!) Friday wasn't very productive. I got off of work an hour early, which was a nice surprise, hung around home for a while, then Rob picked me up and we went to try and find him a new pair of shoes and a Spring jacket. No such luck. We found some jackets that were really nice and fit really well but were way too short on my tall boy and made him look silly. Amazingly enough, we were able to leave the malls and stores without spending any money at all.

Saturday I was in one of my baking moods. I got up and started making banana chocolate chip muffins and crepes. The apartment smelt great. Then I lazed around with the boy for a while and got ready to go out for sushi with Chrissy and T and a few other people. On the way there, we stopped and got Rob some nice new shoes, so one thing accomplished at least.

The sushi wasn't as scary as I thought it would be, though I ate no fish. I mainly stuck to crab and eel and I had to eat with my fingers because I couldn't figure out the chopsticks. It was such a beautiful night when we left I didn't want to go home. We stopped at Market Mall, I got my Vans that I've been eyeing and we drove home.

Sunday was much the same. Lazing around and then we actually got up and did some errands. It was a beautiful day. I got T's birthday present and a new shirt and stuff for myself which is good. Then we did groceries and went home. I got a massive headache last night that just wouldn't go away, so I ended up going to bed pretty early. But I apparently am a huge nerd and can't go to sleep when the boy isn't beside me.

I got some distressing news from Jill a couple of weeks ago. One of our high school teachers (who we both also knew a bit outside of school) had some sort of a break down and was in the hospital at home. He was a suicide risk and was seeing things and was just gone nuts. Jill's Mom called Jill to let her know, and to also find out if we could send him cards because apparently that really made him happy. That doesn't sound like the Lester I know, but ok. I've been in rough shape somewhat like that myself before, so if that's what he needs, good. I bought a card that I was going to send out soon when I got an email from Jill. Apparently Lester was home, doing better and was outside fixing his snow blower. Apparently he couldn't fix it, he got mad, freaked out and cut his wrists and chest so badly they had to do surgery. I hate hearing things like this because 1: I feel so bad for the people involved and wish I could help them and 2: That could have been me. It's as simple as that. That could have been me. It terrifies me. Thoughts like that actually keep me up at night.

Which could be the reason I've been having really awful dreams off and on the last bit. In at least three of the dreams now someone has been after me. Sometimes they get me, sometimes they don't. Each time it's scary.

And to add to the stress, my uncle Jamie got his scan results back. He's got something wrong with his brain. As far as the family doctor can tell, it's a strawberry birthmark in his brain. But we will know more on Wednesday when Jamie sees the specialist. I'm so worried for him. He is the sweetest boy. I love him and miss him and wish I could be here. This is why I hate Calgary (other then the insane weather). I'm not there when my family needs my support, or when I need their's...But all I can do is wait, and now it's time to go back to work. Good times will be had by all.

Snow? SNOW???

Yet another example of why I hate Calgary sometimes. It was nice yesterday. Today it snowed and snowed all day. The city was piled high with snow, of course there were lots of accidents, and I spent most of the day wishing and hoping that they would send us home, but no snow day. No snow day makes Lacey sad :( I hope tomorrow it's not too bad, but it was such a weird day. It wasn't cold, it was just very, very snowy. Not very impressed at all. At least it was pretty snow.

This weekend is going to be a pretty quiet weekend I think. Rob and I are going to go looking for shoes and clothes (shoes for him, clothes for me. Apparently I'm not allowed to buy anymore shoes). Saturday we are going to go out for sushi with Chrissy and T. I promised that I would try some, but I didn't promise I would like it.

I just want to sleep and sleep. I'm in one of those moods. I'm tired all the time now it seems. Last night Rob went to his own apartment for a change and I had the whole bed to myself. When he's not here I roll all over the bed, I sleep better when he is around.

Today my Mom asked me when he was getting me a ring. I told her to shut up. Ah, good times.

Wondering

I'm wondering if I should or could put some of my poems on here. I don't know if I have the courage to let people read them. I've only ever let a few people read them in the past.....I will think on it.

Weekend Happiness

This weekend was a pretty amazing weekend, despite one or two things, namely a pain Rob had in his chest area on and off for the whole weekend.

Friday was a typical Friday for Rob and I, just hanging out and stuff. Saturday we did some errands with my limited amount of money, and he took me for a hot dog and onion rings which I found extremely enjoyable. I love a good onion ring, but hate onions. Go figure. We got home and hung out for a bit and then I started to get ready because he had tickets for a community act of the Pirates of Penzance (which was actually very well done, except for the lead girl who sung so high that sometimes my ears tried to bleed.)

I got ready in the bathroom, hair, makeup, nice clothes and sparkly silver shoes, you know, all the stuff i normally DON'T do in the run of the day and when I came out, all dressed and ready to go, Rob gave me such a look...like a "You're stunning and I love you look," it was a pleasant surprise to get. He told me all night how he had the prettiest girl there, which is hard to believe, but nice to hear. He makes me feel so good about myself sometimes. And you know what, even If I'm not skinny, I am pretty. That should be enough. Somedays, like Saturday, it was.

So the play was great, I enjoyed myself a lot, even though it was crazy hot in there. Sunday I convinced him to go to the clinic and get his chest checked out. The doctor thinks it's an infection and gave him some medication, and is sending him for some tests just to make sure everything is ok. I'm worried about him. I know everything is going to be fine, but still, it's hard not to worry. The chest is kind of important, you know?

I get paid on Friday. Thank god. I hate having no money. Though my account has lots of money in it because my landlords are stupid and never seem to want to cash the rent cheque on time. It's dated for the 1st! Cash it on the 1st! Don't let me keep believing the lie that I have money! It's just not healthy! Anyway, this weekend I want to get some new clothes, my poor jeans all have holes in them and I really need new shirts. I also want new shoes, but Rob won't let me have any, which is a good thing. I have some sort of addiction going on there. So hurry up and get here Friday! And my raise better be on this cheque!

Threats and Promises

T told me today that our friendship would be over if I didn't update my blog today, so here I am, updating my blog even though I really don't have a whole lot to talk about. Well, maybe I do, I never know until I start typing away.

I had some blood tests taken recently. That was fun. Dad wanted me to get my blood sugar went, so I put it off for as long as I could (the three week period in there didn't help any, cause I had to pee in a cup, and then I threw out the sheet I was supposed to take in, so that didn't help either). I fasted, I got up early, (I had an appointment this time so I wouldn't be waiting outside for an hour) I went to the clinic and I got five tubes of blood taken and peed not very well in a cup. Then I went to work (yes, on a Saturday, thank you year end) and woofed down a breakfast sandwich like there was no tomorrow. About half way through the day I felt woozy. By 4:30 when Rob picked me up I was about ready to faint. I guess my blood sugar was down. Pepsi fixed that right up.

They called saying they had the results almost right away. I was stressing out. Worrying there was something wrong. I had seriously messed up dreams which was not fun. I had stressed out days. I had weepy days. I had push everyone away days. Then I got my results and everything came back good. Huge sighs of relief were heard around the world. Other then being a chub, Lacey is healthy. Good stuff.

Work is work. Certain people have backed off for the most part, which is good. I also got a pretty decent raise which makes me happy. I will get to see it on my next cheque which is great, seeing as how I have a cash flow problem at the moment, as in, I have none to flow, and had to borrow money from Rob which made me feel like a big loser. He says it's ok, and that he feels bad for not paying anything towards my apartment, but I'm adult, i should be able to handle this stuff on my own.

They have made some new changes at work, none of which has really affected me yet, but it's causing all sorts of crap for me indirectly. Good times. An asshole downstairs is marking up prices on purpose to make a point, and good times are being had by all. For example, the invoice says $162.00. He PO'ed and received it in the system as $166,666.66. A bit of a difference. Um, we're being audited for that now because of the huge difference. He doesn't seem to understand that these changes are coming from the Big Boss because he wants to know where all of his money is. And the CFO could lose his job because he's being a dick and poor Tom has to explain these prices. Good job asshole. Good job.

I'm hoping to take my bottles back this weekend since they are over taking my apartment. Rob is also taking me to a musical on Saturday, very excited about that. Oh! And the most exciting thing:

OASIS!!!

Rob got us Oasis tickets for August...insanely excited about that! I love my honey. Even if I do call him an asshole sometimes. :)

"I couldn't feel so I tried to touch"

That has to be one of my most favorite lines from anything. Leonard Cohen is a god. Well, I don't believe in gods, but if I did, he would be one.

It's so true though. Sometimes you can't feel, so you try to touch, whoever or whatever you can.

Last week was one of my first bad weeks in a long time. I still have bad days sometimes. I think I will always have bad days, no matter what happens to me. But that was the first time it when on for days. I was miserable without a reason, on the verge of tears without anything happening to make me cry. I was just sad nonstop. I tried to shut myself off from Rob at all times, but I did talk to Chrissy, because if anyone out there can understand, and not try to judge me or make me feel worse about myself, it's Chrissy. Jill has been there for me in the past, and I will always be grateful for that. There are times that I don't know if I would be where I am, or here at all, if I didn't have Jill. But Chrissy seems to have gone through a lot of the same stuff as me. So much so that it's kind of freaky sometimes. But it's nice when people know where you're coming from, when you don't have to explain everything to death. When they can just look at you and know what's wrong.

I'm feeling better this week, even though work is going to suck a lot this week and a half, but I will survive. I somehow always do.

Tonight we celebrated Chrissy's quitting of ADT which is awesome and I'm so proud of her for it! She finally got out! We had talked about going to the Cheesecake Cafe on Monday after work, but for some reason Rob didn't feel like going tonight, which, I'll be honest, did upset me a bit. She is my BEST friend here, and she's been with me no matter what. This was an important day. I don't really understand. But Chrissy and T and Blake picked me up in T's new car (I'm so happy for her!) and we went and despite a car accident (not the new car thankfully) we all had a great time. It was awesome. I had slushy drinks. That was fun. Even though I was the only person not part of a couple/family, we celebrated, had some great food and a great time. Congrats Chrissy!!!

Sick Days

So the front desk girl gave me bronchitis. That sure sucked. I nearly died during inventory, just from the counting. Ok, I was also running around, on my feet all day, doing heavy lifting and carrying, and all sorts of fun stuff like that. I didn't get home until after 8 so I was exhausted from that. Then I waited until midnight for Rob to get here from curling and then I pretty much just got sick. I didn't do anything all weekend and didn't go to work on Monday.

Chrissy, T, and Blake came and took me to the clinic. Blake informed me that having his finger slammed in the door was much worse then my cough, which I guess is true. It turned out I had the coughing disease and spent the next two days napping and coughing at home. I went back to work and was informed that some people thought I had been on job interviews which is always fun. But I finished out the week.

I got up early on Saturday to go do blood work after fasting all night. After searching for the stupid lab, I found it and there was a HUGE crowd, even people waiting outside. So I said forget that and ended up hanging out with Chrissy and her Mom at the mall, which was cool. Rob picked me up and then we got the stuff needed for Game Night.

Game Night. Fun! Nacho Dip, Cheese cake. Board Games. Random Playlist. Let's just say, wonderful. That is until my landlord banged on my door and told us to be quiet because the baby was trying to sleep. We weren't even being that loud. And it was the first time I've ever had more then one person over to my apartment, and I've been here for almost 8 months. I think they've been pretty fucking lucky with their renter. I'm pretty sure they're going to get a divorce, they're always stomping around upstairs and yelling and screaming at each other in the common staircase which isn't uncomfortable for me at all...I'm very sorry that you guys are going through a rough time, but don't treat your good renter like shit. I've only ever asked them for help with the mice that I had when I first moved in. That's it. My bathroom sink has been broken for months now, but I don't want to bother them with it because I feel bad. I feel like making a big fucking fuss about it now, just to be a bitch.

I tried not to let it bother me, and I did have a really fun night. I love hanging out with Rob, Chrissy and T, they're my favorite people ever, I can't stop laughing when we're all together.

When they left, Rob was dozing on the couch. I got ready for bed, and then dragged him into the bedroom. I talked to him for a while and then he soon fell asleep. I sat in bed for a while, just staring at the walls and then got up and came out here. That just put me in one of my moods. I started to feel down, and then that turned into a random feeling of sadness, so I figured if I wrote it out, it would make me feel better, and it has. Writing has such a healing effect for me.

Two more things to mention quickly. 1: Thursday night, Rob, Chrissy T and I all went to see the Drag Kings, and it was pretty awesome. Rob I think was bored and/or uncomfortable, so next time I think I will leave him home. I love him, but there are some things that maybe we can't share. 2: I wrote a poem back in September when Chrissy and I were having major issues with Karma. In it I described Karma as a bitch goddess and Chrissy really liked it. Well, turns out she wants to get her tattoo artist to draw it out for her, and then get it tattooed on her. Depending on what he comes up with, maybe I'll get it too. I haven't decided yet. But it means a lot to me that she liked the poem so much, she wants to make it a part of her. I love you Chrissy!