"I couldn't feel so I tried to touch"

That has to be one of my most favorite lines from anything. Leonard Cohen is a god. Well, I don't believe in gods, but if I did, he would be one.

It's so true though. Sometimes you can't feel, so you try to touch, whoever or whatever you can.

Last week was one of my first bad weeks in a long time. I still have bad days sometimes. I think I will always have bad days, no matter what happens to me. But that was the first time it when on for days. I was miserable without a reason, on the verge of tears without anything happening to make me cry. I was just sad nonstop. I tried to shut myself off from Rob at all times, but I did talk to Chrissy, because if anyone out there can understand, and not try to judge me or make me feel worse about myself, it's Chrissy. Jill has been there for me in the past, and I will always be grateful for that. There are times that I don't know if I would be where I am, or here at all, if I didn't have Jill. But Chrissy seems to have gone through a lot of the same stuff as me. So much so that it's kind of freaky sometimes. But it's nice when people know where you're coming from, when you don't have to explain everything to death. When they can just look at you and know what's wrong.

I'm feeling better this week, even though work is going to suck a lot this week and a half, but I will survive. I somehow always do.

Tonight we celebrated Chrissy's quitting of ADT which is awesome and I'm so proud of her for it! She finally got out! We had talked about going to the Cheesecake Cafe on Monday after work, but for some reason Rob didn't feel like going tonight, which, I'll be honest, did upset me a bit. She is my BEST friend here, and she's been with me no matter what. This was an important day. I don't really understand. But Chrissy and T and Blake picked me up in T's new car (I'm so happy for her!) and we went and despite a car accident (not the new car thankfully) we all had a great time. It was awesome. I had slushy drinks. That was fun. Even though I was the only person not part of a couple/family, we celebrated, had some great food and a great time. Congrats Chrissy!!!